Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
