i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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