I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Vodka?
Forever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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