just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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