I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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