you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
