The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
