Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
