What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
