Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
