Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
