how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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