Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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