at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
