Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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