I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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