I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
