Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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