I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
