I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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