plz talk dirty to me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
this is an emotional support booty call
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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