For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
