I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
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Hippo gnu deer
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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