i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
