I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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