I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
