Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Help. Why am I so naked?
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