she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
