I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
being pregnant is like rehab
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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