I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
