i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
3 2 1 whiskey
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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