a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
