you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
