She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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