somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
50% drunk capacity currently
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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