We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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