Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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