Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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