He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
