that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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