ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
