Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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