Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
