saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
