Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
