hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You made out with two different species that night
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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