I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
