sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
