goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just had sex bonerless
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
