Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
