Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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