so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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