I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
